My Triumphant Return: Booking the Flight.

On Friday my boss approached me and one of the other new cashiers and asked "So do both of you really intend to work all through the holidays? Or are you both neglecting to tell me of your time off request?" As I've never held a job for more than three months at the most, concepts such as giving two months notice for holiday vacation time are somewhat foreign to me. First of all, wtf: we get our schedules two weeks ahead of time, god knows what sort of hours I'll be working in two months. Second of all wtf: I'd say the likelihood of me even still being employed by Pharmaca in two months is iffy at best. Third of all wtf: people do things during the week of Christmas? I can't wait until I re-enter the educational system, and then never leave again, so I'll always have that winter and summer vacation to look forward to. Seriously, when I think of the possibility of having to work 40 hours a week with no definite seasonal vacation time, it makes me pretty much want to kill everybody everywhere (Be sure to vote for me and my "Everybody Must Die" campaign in the 2024 election). I kid, of course, I just think the thought is scary. Anyway, after working out my hours at the fairly reasonable demands of boss, I went ahead and booked a flight, to avoid anymore price hikes.

So today I'd like to announce that I will be making my triumphant return to Maryland from Friday the 22nd to Tuesday the 26th. That's five full days, so if you want to see me, you'd damn well better get in line and make an appointment. Sigh... and with that statement I have now become that which I despise. Well, I'd say let's begin the countdown at 1 month, 22 days.


My sweet new ride!

Feast your eyes on the finest of vehicle technology. Combining the awesome new advent of the wheel with the incredible power of uh.... torsion, let me introduce you to my new mode of transportation. It's called: A bike. What is that you ask? Well it may be best to explain it from the beginning. In 1834 a man by the name of Alester Cromwell came up with a brilliant idea. "Eureka!" He exclaimed, "I shall tie thine two gravels together and roll downward yonder mountain on topist of thems." (Love my inflected english do you?) Of course he promptly died, what with the war on, and the Coriolis effect. Many years later a German scientist by the name of Amler Von Gehtnacht found the Cromwell's journey buried under a pile of socks (some tube some ankle) and published them as his own findings, this time adding an airhorn and reflectors to the Cromwell model. Millions perished. That day became known as Bloody Sunday, as sung by Sunny Bono, even though records show it in fact took place on a Tuesday. It was not until "the awesome new advent of the wheel" (Drakos 3:14) that the modern design of the bike, or the Rolling Pipin-Dangle for short, was created. And here it is, the apex of all mankind:

Now many of you might be confused and ask, O Drakos!? How does something with only two wheels stay balanced enough to be ridden off into the evening twilight? Well, I haven't quite figured that out yet. I'm pretty sure the feet holder things have something to do with it, and I heard my friend the doctor mention something about centrifugal force, which from my extensive knowledge of Latin I know must mean the force of fleeing soldiers, so I'm thinking tiny armies run inside the tires. Now many of you (a different many from before) may say "I have a bike! You having one is nothing interesting." That's where you're wrong. I'll bet you've been too busy, ensconced, reading my blog, chewing your toenails, and watching M*A*S*H with little to no regard for the CONSTANT ingenuity that the bike industry has had coming to it from the most brilliant minds on Earth. This bike is complete with "it all."

It's got metal, it's got plastic, it's got rubber, it's fantastic.
Round the back you find the seat, padded up to be complete.
It's got a bottom, it's got a top, even a holder fer yer pop.
The fenders are made in Taiwan, and it's heavenly to sit upon.
You think I lie, but it's truth: This bike's got it all. Um.. uh.. forsooth.

So I'm pretty sure that's going to be last time I rhyme intentionally. Although I'm sure if I keep this up I'm bound to do it eventually. So here's the god's truth: the bike's fine. I hardly see what makes it a Comfort Bike but I'm sure my Mongoose will work out for what I need it for. Being on time to work for once. Fat chance. Alright, I'm gonna go practice out in the dark where no one can see me be a total failure at biking.

Blogger Beta.

If anything bizarre should occur during your visit here, it probably has to do with my recent switch over to the new Blogger which is better in many ways, but still under construction. Apparently it's going to take them a little while to make up their minds about what the new "Next Blog" button should look like. Also, see what happens if you click on the lable "Squiggle" down there.


The First Snow.

I really should start carrying my camera around with me more. Monday night it rained continuously, something that rarely happens here, and during the night it turned to sleet I believe. There was nothing left on the ground in the morning, but when the morning fog lifted the mountains were covered in snow. It's a funny thing to see snow right there, no more than a mile away when everything around you is still green and autumn-like. By the time I got off work on Tuesday the clouds had all gone and the snow had all melted, and today it was back to the high 6os again. Apparently the only thing stranger than the weather around the Chesapeake Bay Watershed, is this mountain valley weather.

Best Wishes from a mile above.

Selling My Soul: Part II

Several months ago when I still had a bright future ahead of me, before I turned to drugs and loose women, I announced I was selling out to Google. Well it's looks as though I've made the right decision for because of my ads I have no generated enough revenue to quit my drug peddling gig and take on rock and roll full time, baby. So today I'd like to make another annoucement. My band: The Bipping Boppers One Two Three will be getting back together, and this time we won't stop until we're on the cover of Rolling Stone, yeah that's right.

Bullshit. You know how much my months of advertising (which I am sure RUINED your drakos blogging experience) has profited me? Take a guess? Zilch you say? Almost. Try, $4.04. That's right, a whopping four dollars, and four cents. Worst of all Google Adsense only sends you the first check after you've accumulated $100 in revenues, which considering my rate of a dollar a month (which isn't even true, the money came all at once from the initial clicks of my few loyal readers [specifically, myself on three computers] back in July) will take... a while to reach my fingers.

My point being, I have decided even though the ads are fairly insignificant, they rarely advertise anything useful on my end, and since I just received more than enough money for rent next month from my actual job I'm done with this Adsense nonsense.


Three things.

1. I worked overtime this week and all I got was this lousy tuberculosis.

2. Atomsk88 has achieved YTMND perfection. Watch it for hours.

3. The little spikey round thingies with the pink swirl in the middle found in Japanese noodle soups are called narutos.
Ride to the Top?