That's so undergrad.

Once again tonight I failed to find my niche here in Boulder. So regardless of whether or not anyone cares here is an overview of the typical CU party (I feel like the five I stopped by tonight gave me a good enough sample). First take a house. Rent it to no less than three undergrads for an outrageous monthly rate. Then watch them somehow or another get a hold of a keg of Fat Tire. Now we change perspectives, and you are now Fratty McPopped-Collar, one of the aforementioned undergraduates, more than likely a sophomore business or economics major. Now make sure your home is free of both furniture and carpeting (they'd just got stolen and stained anyway) Place cups next to the keg which has been strategically placed in the smallest most awkward room in the house. Write nonsense on the walls, making sure to include the phrases: "So-and-so is the Masta o' Disasta" and "Whats-her-face ain't a ho cause girl just be chillin" and maybe "CU drugged you and watched you fuck your mom, and she called the retard-incest-flipper baby that came out CSU." Invite five people all with identical wardrobes and hairstyles. To avoid too much confusion make one wear a beanie, and one an army jacket. Place each of these undergrads (residents and invitees) in groups of two each in separate rooms. Crank up the rhythms. Wait 45 minutes. Once 100 random people show up, about 10 of which are female start asking who people are and be rude to them until they leave. Make sure to empty the keg into pitchers to save for later when no one is looking. If feeling adventurous install ultraviolet, strobe, or disco lights. Most importantly carry around a delicious looking drink of which there "just isn't enough rum to make another of." Finally make sure you get neighbors who will have a slightly sketchier party during the same night with two people fighting in the yard.

There's something to be said about a quiet evening of drinking alone.

Despite my obvious complaints I did get to do a few things in the presence of my bosses that won't be soon forgotten. Also I ran into two people who remembered me from previous encounters. These were pretty much the first times I bumped into anyone I know, as I still believe that I haven't even one acquaintance outside of co-workers. Guess I'm wrong. Oh... and Trogdor Babies.

Selling Drugs.

Anyone who read my last entry probably gets the impression that I was unhappy that week. I wasn't exactly pleased with work situation, but I'm sure and least one of my dedicated readers will be happy to know I'm keeping on top of my life now. After a full week of unsatisfying labor at the feet of Gap Inc I went on a craigslist resume sending rampage. The result of which was amazingly quick and in my opinion a lucky break. Today I had my first day of training selling drugs. (Saying that never gets old). It was easy, my co-workers are nice people, and I get a 30% discount, and health benefits at 90 days. The only problem is the alleyway where this goes on is somewhat less of a manageable walk, but that's what the Hop, Skip, and Jump are for after all. The names might be corny, but they work. I can't say that I'm not a little surprised at myself, as I had no idea I'd be working at a pharmacy, uh.. I mean drug dealer...ship less than a week ago. Neither did Old Navy. Chuckle.


In other news, I received a free trial of Gamefly from drinking as much Sobe as I do. So basically I get to rent as many videogames as I can play in a month for free. I should be receiving the fourth one in the mail shortly, so needless to say I'm happy, but only a few weeks remain till I guess I'll have to go back to legos. Also, because by way of my actions I have received a coupon for yet another free trial of Gamefly, however, as I already have an account it is against the rules for me to use it. I suppose might try canceling and resigning up, but I feel like I've rode the gravy train long enough. So here's what I'm going to do: The first person to post a comment asking me for it, under the condition that I feel you'd really have a use for it, gets my free trial code. Obviously make it recognizable to me who you are, and as I'm assuming no one I don't know actually reads this, it'll be easy enough to send it your way. It's a good deal, for even if you only have time rent two games and return them with enough time to cancel before the month is up, that could be $100 you save. In the unlikely, and I'd wager almost impossible event of a tie, we'll settle it with a fight of sorts. (or maybe this).

Old Navy Gripes and The Red Rocks Trail.

So I'm going to say that I've just about had it with the real world. I am of course not referring to the occasionally humorous and consistently horrifying show on MTV, but am in fact talking about my sordid excuse for a life. Apparently it only takes but two 6:00am shifts to complete break my spirit. I've found myself saying "I'd rather starve than get up at 4:30" on a number of occasions in the last two days. Here are the problems you might see with that:

-You do not need an hour and a half to get ready for work.

-Your entire livelihood is not riding on a part-time job at Old Navy.

-You're not in the real world, people there don't shop at Wild Oats Organic Market.

Well my responses are, yes I do, I realize that, and don't diss the Oats. So as I refuse to work 6am, they'll be cutting back my hours. No big whoop I suppose. At the end of the month I'll still pay my rent, and my bills, it's just becoming less and less likely that I'll have any savings by the time I start taking classes, but then I suppose that was never really the point. I'm just going to explode if I watch one more video or read one more training manual that mentions integrity, you be you, or zero mean zero. Now, as I must be heading to bed soon, it's almost my bedtime (eight fucking thirty), and I have one more six am tomorrow, I'll get to my second topic.

On Sunday I decided to go for a walk towards the mountains. The thing about Boulder though, is which mountain do you aim for, you have a whole mess of front range to choose from. Naturally I chose to just walk west down Pearl until I either got tired and gave up, or reached a mountain of sorts. Turns out it's maybe about a twenty minute walk to the something and such park that had access to the Red Rocks trail which led me to the peak of the smallest of the mountains visible (when not obscured by trees or buildings). Here I found a breath-taking view of Boulder, of which I've more or less given you below. It's not the best picture of the city, I opted to use the shot taken as I balanced atop the honest to god Red Rock atop the mountain (more of a hill when compared to Mt. Vesuvius or the Rockies).


That was a plus, as I'm more scared of heights than I am of the crazy antics those harlots and johns on The Real World. But I saw cacti up there! Naturally growing! That's new for me. Also I believe I found the drainage ditch that leads to one of the two creeks near my place. This is exciting for me in an existential way (I understand the philosophy perfectly know that I've seen I heart Huckabees), it's nice to see everything is connecting... even the man-made ditch designed to lead rainwater into the reservoir and not into my foundation. Oh, and I saw a chipmunk up there. The end.

Photo Collection II

August 2006