That's so undergrad.

Once again tonight I failed to find my niche here in Boulder. So regardless of whether or not anyone cares here is an overview of the typical CU party (I feel like the five I stopped by tonight gave me a good enough sample). First take a house. Rent it to no less than three undergrads for an outrageous monthly rate. Then watch them somehow or another get a hold of a keg of Fat Tire. Now we change perspectives, and you are now Fratty McPopped-Collar, one of the aforementioned undergraduates, more than likely a sophomore business or economics major. Now make sure your home is free of both furniture and carpeting (they'd just got stolen and stained anyway) Place cups next to the keg which has been strategically placed in the smallest most awkward room in the house. Write nonsense on the walls, making sure to include the phrases: "So-and-so is the Masta o' Disasta" and "Whats-her-face ain't a ho cause girl just be chillin" and maybe "CU drugged you and watched you fuck your mom, and she called the retard-incest-flipper baby that came out CSU." Invite five people all with identical wardrobes and hairstyles. To avoid too much confusion make one wear a beanie, and one an army jacket. Place each of these undergrads (residents and invitees) in groups of two each in separate rooms. Crank up the rhythms. Wait 45 minutes. Once 100 random people show up, about 10 of which are female start asking who people are and be rude to them until they leave. Make sure to empty the keg into pitchers to save for later when no one is looking. If feeling adventurous install ultraviolet, strobe, or disco lights. Most importantly carry around a delicious looking drink of which there "just isn't enough rum to make another of." Finally make sure you get neighbors who will have a slightly sketchier party during the same night with two people fighting in the yard.

There's something to be said about a quiet evening of drinking alone.

Despite my obvious complaints I did get to do a few things in the presence of my bosses that won't be soon forgotten. Also I ran into two people who remembered me from previous encounters. These were pretty much the first times I bumped into anyone I know, as I still believe that I haven't even one acquaintance outside of co-workers. Guess I'm wrong. Oh... and Trogdor Babies.