Since I need an April post.

"What's your secret," they all ask. "How do you stay so fit and trim now that you no longer live in the fittest state in the country?"

Well folks it's quite simple to do really, as it's all in the diet. Cheerios. Boxed Wine. Daily.

When I get home after a hard days work, I make sure to start the early afternoon off right with a handful of O's washed down with a nice glass of Franzia Shiraz. This goes on until about 1 am. Then I get plenty of rest, wake up at 10, and it's off to work again.

My cholesterol level must be so low. But I think my bones are melting.

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It's so pretty! Wait, no, I meant bad-ass.

Post-Boulder Grievance #2 & #3

Number 2: I have to drive to do anything here. $67 to fill the tank. In Boulder I could've bought a monthly bus pass for less than that (if I'd had to, which I didn't cause I'm sly like that).

Granted, I wouldn't have burned through a tank so quickly if I hadn't listened to all those audiobooks while driving. They both distracted me, making me miss turns and have to backtrack, and encouraged me to "take the long way home" (Supertramp) so I could finish a chapter.

Columbia has a funny way of making me stretch the limits a bit on what I considered living a decent life. You know, conservation, being healthy, and the like. None of that here.

Which brings me to the third grievance, lack of vegetarian options. I made the mistake of going to a Wendy's the other day, as it is of course the best of the fast food in the area, and thus the only affordable food in the area (outside of my kitchen). Every salad option has chicken, except the side caesar, which has bacon. I swear there were only two meat free foods on the menu, fries cooked in lard, and the microwaved baked potato with chives. It was gross. If I want good food I'll either have to cook it myself, or spend a lot more, in places that are generally closed before 9pm.

In summation: Fuck this shit. ~D

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Despite it all, March gives me hope for the future.

Post-Boulder Grievance #1

I'm pissed off. About libraries. Yeah, that's right.. Libraries. First of all I'm pissed that the libraries here in Maryland aren't nearly as cool as in Boulder. Granted HoCo (Howard County) does have one of the best library systems in the country, so I guess I was just spoiled in... uh... BoCo?


So here's my second and most important gripe. Even though I found my old library card hidden away in a box in my closet it won't do me a bit of good as far as checking out books is concerned. These damn libraries are all high-tech and online now. It's cool that they're modernizing, but it's basically become a system where you visit the website and reserve the book ahead of time, and then when it's finally returned you get a notice to come pick it up. So what that means is that with any book I want, not only do I have to wait for a copy to be returned, I also have to wait in a virtual line behind the other twenty people who all want the same book. Just now, I've recalled that at some point back around 2004 or so, (before the electronic reserve system) I found that the book I wanted was never there, and it was just easier to go to Barnes and Noble. So, why don't I just do that now, you might ask? I can't afford $20 a book.

Thus, only one option remains. Piracy. ~D