This is where ulcers come from.

So, all in all, being stranded here for Christmas wasn't so bad. As a matter of fact, I would say I have no regrets about it. My co-workers, the one's I actually like even, were nice enough to feed me well. Also, rather than return home to have my father say, "You said you wanted an Pod-something for Christmas? Well tell you what, let's go to BJ's Wholesale Club and see what they've got, and you can pick out your own," I opted to just buy one in five fucking minutes on Amazon. So, I am now the proud owner of the top of the line iPod 5.5, and 1050 more Amazon points, and thus I am King of the Amazon. This is indeed awesome for the most ridiculous idea ever, the Podcast, is right up my ally. Why listen to NPR for free whenever, when you can download certain radio programs to clog up your computer and then somehow find a way to put them onto your iPod. It'd be simple if I was willing to let it sync all the time, but the idea of iTunes having absolute control over what goes on, why I'd expect that sort of shenanigans from Microsoft, but not my recent crush Apple. But anyway, if I could figure out how to use templates in Word '98, no interface can dare oppose me.

Now what concerns me is the next giant blizzard which they're calling worse than the previous one. Apparently this one, which hit this morning as a light rain, which about an hour ago turned to snow, a snow predicted to continue into Saturday morning, is slower moving and thus may drop more precipitation on us than the former.

Diagnosis: I'm shit-fucked.

Last week the airport closed for 45 hours. The bus system was shut down from Wednesday evening until Friday. The postal service stopped deliveries for a solid two days.

I though this was the FUCKING ROCKIES!

And what with modern technology and all being able to clone farm animals and infect the children of America with Cloneitis, the little known disease that comes from drinking the milk of an animal that was not created by G-d, but by the hands of man, AKA Lucifer, you'd think they'd have figured out a way to get around a few feet of partially frozen water. I propose some form of anti-snow, for example: fire! Why not set all the forests on fire to preemptively raise the temperature and smoke away those storm clouds. Surely there must be some kind of laser that could be used to create an energy field to surround Denver International Airport and keep out those nasty weather patterns.

If there was ever a time I needed you heathen bastards, and yes I mean you too dear reader, to start praying for my timely, uneventful return trip, it's now. So if you'll please, drop your Yule logs, bring the Nativity Scene back down from the attic, and for the love of Him, stop your hippie pagan love fest.

So in summation, I had a good Christmas, the iPod is freaking awesome, but I was hoping to have a good New Year at home as well, so keep wishing for My Triumphant Return, and maybe just maybe, I'll be able to make a post that's actually true to that name.


Now that's what I call edgy blogging.